“Ce centura ai? De cat timp faci aikido?” Sunt intrebari atat de familiare, pe care aproape ca am ajuns sa le astept de la cei carora le spun ca practic aikido. Daca pentru prima intrebare raspunsul apare imediat (uneori nici nu este rostita din simplul fapt ca centura este la vedere), pentru cea de a doua intrebare, raspunsul meu sincer este la fel de prompt: Nu stiu!
Au trecut ani, ani buni, de la primul meu antrenament. Au trecut ani in care intensitatea practicii nu a fost mereu aceeasi. Au fost perioade in care am mers zilnic la antrenament, au fost perioade in care abia reuseam sa merg o data pe saptamana si au fost chiar saptamani in care nu am ajuns deloc, la nici un antrenament; am participat la antrenamente mai intense fizic, de la care plecam foarte transpirat, au fost si antrenamente mai putin intense, in care aratam incepatorilor tehnicile, si au fost chiar antrenamente la care am participat doar de pe banca, privind.
Refuz sa trag linie si sa adun, pentru a da un raspuns matematic de genul x ani si y luni. Refuz sa cred ca raspunsul la intrebarea “De cat timp faci aikido?” poate ajuta pe cineva sa se hotarasca daca va continua sa vina sau nu la antrenamente.
Intr-adevar, exista cateva metrici pe care le-as putea lua in considerare. Stiu cand am participat prima data la un antrenament de aikido deci stiu cat timp a trecut de la primul antrenament. E mai difici, insa daca insist suficient de mult cred ca as putea face un calcul pentru a spune la cate antrenamente am participat in total sau cate de ore de antrement reprezinta ele insumate. Cu o marja de eroare foarte mica as putea spune si la cate stagii am participat. Stiu foarte bine cate examene de aikido am sustinut si stiu cate din aceste examene le-am trecut. Acestea sunt masuratori ce ar putea oferi oarecare informatii despre “volumul” efortului depus.
Ceea ce nu se poate vedea din aceste masuratori este calitatea efortului. Metricile de mai sus nu reflecta atentia, gradul de implicare, numarul de dojo-uri de care am apartinut, numarul de sensei pe care i-am avut ca indrumatori, ce pregatire au avut, cat de buni au fost ei ca profesori si cat de bine am putut eu absorbi invataturile de la senseii “mei”. De asemenea, metricile nu ofera nici o informatie legata de absentele de la antrenamente, daca sau cat de bine intemeiate au fost motivele absentelor si nici daca au fost perioade mai lungi de absenta continua sau daca am participat intr-un ritm mai rar dar constant la antrenamente. Nu reflecta cat de bine am lucrat cu alti aikidoka, cat de bine ne-am inteles, cat de sincere au fost atacurile noastre si cat de corect am incercat sa executam tehnicile atunci cand lucram impreuna.
Observ ca pe masura ce detaliez, gasesc in metricile bazate pe timp mai multe apecte care nu se pot deduce fata de cele care se pot calcula. Nu contest faptul ca metricile pot oferi cateva informatii, insa cu siguranta nu par a fi informatiile cele mai utile in a afla timpul necesar pentru a ajunge la un anumit nivel de pregatire.
De-a lungul timpului, fiecare om trece printr-un proces de transformare. Fiecare isi defineste directia si fiecare stie daca merge sau nu in directia potrivita. Aikido este o cale. Nu este o cale universala, nu este a tuturor, insa este o cale care se pare ca dobandeste din ce in ce mai multi adepti. Este o cale pe care si eu am ales-o.
Inainte de a veni la primul antrenament de aikido, am cazut cel putin o data. Si m-am ridicat. Si-am mai cazut o data. Si iar m-am ridicat. La primul antrenament de aikido am facut exact acelasi lucru: am cazut si m-am ridicat, de multe ori. Inainte de a veni la primul antrenament de aikido, aveam niste principii de viata. Si am descoperit ca in colectivul de aikidoka nu numai ca le pot pastra ci chiar le pot intari.
De aceea, pentru intrebarea “De cat timp faci aikido?” prefer sa-mi pastrez raspunsul: Nu stiu. Poate ca din totdeauna, doar ca la un moment dat am realizat ca asa se numeste.
"What belt do you have? For how long are you practicing aikido?" These are questions that become so familiar that I almost come to expect them from those which I tell them that I practice aikido. If for the first question the answer rises instantly (and sometimes is not even uttered for the simple fact that the belt is in sight), to the second question, my honest answer is also straight: I don't know!
Years have passed, many years, since my first practice. There were years in which the intensity of practice was not always the same. There were times when I went to practice every day, there were periods in which I could only go once a week and there were even weeks when I did not practiced at all; I've participated to some trainings which were more physically intense, from which I left very sweaty, there were also less intense training, in which I showed the techniques to beginners, and there were even trainings which I attended only sitting on the bench and watching.
I refuse to draw a line and add, for giving such mathematical answer like x years and y months. I refuse to believe that the answer to the question "For how long are you practicing aikido?" can help someone to decide whether or not to continue to participate to trainings.
Indeed, there are some metrics that I can consider. I know when I first attended to an aikido training so I know how much time has passed since the first training. It's more difficult but if I insist I guess I could make a calculation to tell how many trainings I attended in total or how many training hours represent. With a very good approximation I could say to how many stages I've participated. I know very well to how many aikido exams I've participated and I know which of these exams I've passed. These are measurements that could provide some information about the "volume" of the effort.
What cannot be seen from these measurements is the quality of the effort. The above metrics do not reflect attention, involvement, number of dojos that I belonged, number of sensei that I had as teachers, what training they had, how good were they as teachers and how well was I able to absorb the teachings of "my" Sensei. Also, the metrics do not offer any information related with absences from training, if or how well-founded were the reasons for absences or whether there were long periods of absence or if I participated at a rarely but constant rate to the trainings. It does not reflect how well we worked with other aikidoka, how well we understand each other, how honest our attacks have been and how rigorous were we when we tried to execute the techniques while working together.
I see that while I'm going deeper, I find in time-based metrics more aspects that cannot be deduced then those that can be calculated. I do not deny that metrics can provide some information, but certainly do not seem to be the most useful information to find the necessary time for reaching a certain level of training.
Over time, everyone goes through a transformation process. Each defines its direction and each knows if it walks or not in the right direction. Aikido is a path. It is not a universal path, not for all, but it is a path that seems increasingly acquired by more followers. It is a path which I've chosen.
Before coming to the first aikido training, I fell at least once. And I got up. Then I fell again. And again I got up. At the first aikido training I did the same thing: I fell and got up for many times. Before coming to the first aikido training, I had some principles of life. And I discovered that inside the aikidoka team I can not only preserve but also can strengthen.
Therefore, for the question "For how long are you practicing aikido?" I prefer to keep my answer: I do not know. Perhaps for how long I know myself, just that at some time I realized that is called like this.
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